Engaged, now what?

Happy New Year!!

A little sparkle for the new year! Britta's BHLDN wedding shoes; photo by Stephen Hughes (c) 2011

If you're recently engaged, you're probably wondering now what?

Here are some quick tips to get you on your merry way:

1. First, congrats! Bask in the afterglow of your engagement.
2. Spread the word -- tell your parents, besties, update your status on Facebook. But, surprisingly -- you don't have to pick your wedding party just yet -- until after steps #3-5. You can definitely start thinking about who you want in your wedding party. But, having a huge wedding party may not make sense for a wedding where you can only afford (or want) 50-100 people.
3. Set your budget. Broaching the subject of who foots the bill may be tricky, especially if you're not comfortable asking your family or other relatives for financial help. Or perhaps you and your fiance prefer to fund your wedding. Take stock of what you can reasonably afford without going into outrageous debt. The venue and catering will be 40-60% of your budget.
4. Based on your budget, set your estimated headcount and start looking for a venue according to your priorities (location, outdoor/indoors, BYO catering or in-house, etc). If you want to get married in 2012, you might find it challenging to book popular venues especially during peak season. Be open!
5. Hire a wedding coordinator (partial or full).A wedding coordinator can point you in the right direction for securing vendors and/or a venue. They can also offer advice on etiquette, related tasks, and your budget. Believe me -- from firsthand experience -- you will definitely want someone else to handle the details of the day so you can actually enjoy your wedding!
6. Prioritize line items for each vendor/expense. Consider whether you care more about the food, photos, music, etc and budget accordingly.
7. Open a Pinterest account unless you already have one. This is my favorite way to curate your wedding wishes and dreams. You can organize your vision by genre (rustic, modern, vintage), colors or elements (sparkly, chevron, faux bois) and easily share it with prospective or current vendors as well as families and friends. Caution: you will get addicted to pinning!
8. Finally, breathe and enjoy a little "me" time every day. It's easy to get caught up in the details -- and sometimes, the drama -- of planning. Don't forget to do what you need to do to get back to center. Cook, do yoga, meditate, write in your journal...

1 month to go!

Here it is. 30 days left! Everyone's asking, "How are you doing?" 

From a tactical perspective, we're on track. In fact, last night, Guitar Fred and I finished printing and binding our programs! It took about 4 hours because we had to punch the corners to 250 individual pages, hand stamp and emboss a peony pattern and insert a brad into the corner. We printed the free custom monogram from the Wedding Chicks for the backs of our programs.

I also had my third dressing fitting with Anne Ventresco, who came highly recommended by my friend, Jill. I hadn't seen her since May and the dress was a little bit looser (yay!). I also got to see what the Pegasus Maiden fascinator that you helped me choose looked like with the dress.The whole ensemble looked splendid! More alterations are needed, like deepening the sweet heart neckline (Guitar Fred will appreciate that) and hemming the bottom. My last fitting is October 1. Gulp.

Last night, Guitar Fred and I also revisited our budget, which has been stressful and provides a glimpse into how we'll manage finances for the future. Fred is such a solid guy -- he kept reassuring me and pointing out that we weren't as far off as we thought. Ultimately, we came up with a couple solutions to cover the gap. This exercise helped me realize I'm more the spreadsheet-calculator person in our relationship and he's the big picture (and optimistic) type, which I believe is a good balance.

Things to look forward to over the next few weeks:

1. Bachelorette party on the wine trolley tomorrow!
2. Engagement session with Stephen Loewinsohn (www.stevetakespictures.com)
3. Getting our RSVPs by September 17 and putting together our seating chart
4. Friends and family flying into town just in time for Guitar Fred's birthday on October 7

Scouting in Napa

I'm very excited to be working with a lovely couple who met onstage -- she's a ballerina and he's an opera singer (in fact, he was at San Francisco Opera just before I started working there in 2004)! They're getting married in a very unique venue in Napa -- the historic Napa Valley Opera House.

We met up over the weekend and I took advantage of checking out a few wedding-related businesses on my trip there: Sift, a cupcakery; Avia, a swank boutique hotel; Ubuntu, a Michelin-star rated restaurant and Betty's Girl Boutique, a vintage clothing store specializing in evening wear. If you're planning a wedding in Napa wine country, here's a few places to consider:

Sift (1000 Main Street, Napa): Just next door to the Napa Valley Opera House, this cupcakery houses not only sweet treats but also style -- as in fashion clothing! I had never seen cupcake flavors like Pink Champagne (fresh raspberry cake and champagne frosting) or Snickerdoodle (moist vanilla cake with cinnamon and sugar cream cheese frosting and cookie on top) at other Bay Area cupcakeries, so I was impressed with their range. I sampled the two aforementioned as well as the popular Ooh La La (red velvet cake) and The Sky is Falling (chocolate cake with white chocolate mousse filling and chocolate frosting).Cupcakes are $30 a dozen ($2.75 each), or you can get mini-cupcakes for $20/dozen (2 dozen minimum). Kara's Cupcakes, another popular Bay Area cupcakery, is $0.25 cents more, so Sift may be a serious contender for cupcakes by price and also flavor.

 

{Sift Cupcakery: Sweet Side}

{The Cake Plate: Fashion Side}

Betty's Girl Boutique (1239 1st Street): Just a minute's walk from Sift is Betty's Girl Boutique. As I entered, I could hear girls squealing with delight as they tried on vintage prom dresses.  The owner, Kim, customizes bridal dresses as well. Kim wouldn't share any photos since her designs are proprietary but she does have an album in store that shows off what she can do for brides on a budget or who want to go all out vintage. Her Yelp reviews boast a lot of happy, loyal customers.

Avia Hotel (1450 1st Street): At first glance, the Avia looks like another modern office building, but the doormen standing outside beckoned me to come in. I was greeted by a very serene and posh lounge to my left and a tree carving that hid the elevator doors just beyond. The restaurant in the back features an open kitchen so you can see the chef and line cooks at work and the second floor offers a great terrace with a couple porch swings and fire pit. Rates are pricey (starting at $179) but discounts are possible when blocking off rooms.

 

Ubuntu (1140 Main Street): This Michelin-star rated vegetarian restaurant offers not only food, but yoga and a fine wine store at its Annex. At the heart of the restaurant’s cuisine is the seasonal produce grown at the owner’s two acre biodynamic garden and vineyard. Dining at Ubuntu will carry a hefty pricetag ($31-50 per person) but the experience will be memorable with dishes like Hakurei turnips with braised greens, caramelized Napa sunchoke and Fuji apple chowder and warm quince soffrito donuts with cool burata.

Inspiration Boarding

If you're like me, you've probably been hoarding inspiration by way of weblinks and torn pages from bridal magazines. With just about 8 months to go until our big day on 10-10-10, I've started to feel the pressure to organize my ideas for each of the 4 spaces we'll be using: the chapel for the ceremony, the patio and garden for the cocktail hour and the parish hall for the reception.

Placing the actual photos of the space alongside the concept -- and particularly elements of what I want -- has been very helpful in bringing my vision to life. Here's what one of my boards (Garden) looks like, showing how I want games and the photo booth in the patio, and balloons, buffet table for appetizers, and mason jars with flowers set on tables and steps in the garden.  What are you doing to bringing your vision to life? 

{Screenshot of my Powerpoint inspiration board}

Sneak peek: Campbell Hall & Garden, Sausalito CA

Guitar Fred and I met on an outing to Love Farms in Healdsburg, CA (Sonoma wine country) and I dreamt of getting married on a farm or ranch until I started shopping around (one place cost $85,000 -eeks!).

Three weeks into our engagement, we found the Christchurch's Campbell Hall and Garden atop a hill overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge and the sleepy seaside town of Sausalito, CA.  The Hall is not a very popular venue, compared to the oft-booked Sausalito Presbyterian Church, but we got it for a great price ($1,800 all day including  BYO caterer, chairs and tables).

So here's the plan:
1) Take photos in downtown Sausalito by the San Francisco Bay and elephant statues
2) Get married in the garden (the trees overhead will be a natural arch)
3) Hold the cocktail "carnival/fair" hour in the patio
4) Boogie and feast in the reception hall (adorn the exposed wooden beams with paper lanterns or garlands)

What do you love most about the venue you've picked (or are looking at)? For me, it's the stunning red doors at the Hall's chapel across the street. (The photos below were taken with my cell phone, so I apologize for the quality.)

Wedding planning made easier?

I just started a new job that is based 99% in the online world, so I admit I'm a little burnt out on blogging. Nonetheless, I'm getting back into the saddle and decided to share with you a handy guide to online wedding guides and resources available to us online. I've been using a combination of Yelp, Craigslist and Project Wedding for finding local vendors and items for sale. As I've conducted these searches, I have discovered hundreds of fabulous sites. I appreciate Emily Chang's initiative in organizing and providing an overview of the many top sites: wedding websites, wedding planning, wedding resources of non-mainstream, wedding registry and sites for wedding fun. Her guide surely makes wedding planning made easier.

Finally, one plug for Yelp. I've used it lately to read reviews of vendors who are based near my venue. I figure I could probably get away with paying less travel fees if I didn't have to have my makeup artist come from San Francisco or San Jose and instead come to me in Sausalito from Mill Valley. And even better, many of the vendors are offering discounts! Use Yelp with caution (i.e., the East Bay Express breaking news on allegations of extortion) -- it's wise to reserve a bit of skepticism.